I’ve simply found my brother secretly wears ladies’s underwear. What ought to I do?


I’m making an attempt to wrap my head across the reality that my youthful brother wears bras and knickers. He doesn’t know that I do know. This got here up 25 years in the past when a few of my knickers have been present in a suitcase hidden in a closet. Now he’s 40 and I simply came upon he wears them each day. We grew up in a religious Mormon household. He doesn’t need any of us to know, however I’m making an attempt to grasp in order that I don’t make a mistake or assume one thing that isn’t true. I wish to be extra educated. I like my brother and I simply wish to perceive. I can’t ask him. I’m afraid he would by no means speak to me once more.

You don’t have to be involved about this non-public side of your brother’s life. His curiosity in carrying ladies’s undergarments is innocent and fairly frequent, however you aren’t alone in feeling confused and anxious as a result of a lack of know-how. Most males who’ve this fetish are heterosexual. They usually develop the curiosity early in life and it isn’t at all times an erotic behaviour – generally it serves as a soothing mechanism. Since males who wish to cross-dress in several methods are often extraordinarily secretive, for concern of being judged negatively, I like to recommend you don’t point out it to him and don’t try to search out out extra. As an alternative, merely attempt to be accepting. Consider this as a unusual behavior; a facet of the one you love brother you’ll be able to put in the identical class as a passion.

•Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual issues.

•If you want recommendation from Pamela on sexual issues, ship us a quick description of your considerations to non-public.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t ship attachments). Submissions are topic to our phrases and situations: see gu.com/letters-terms

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