Unhappy songs about vehicles, in honor of the editor’s disabled automobile


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Unhappy vehicles reacting over the editor’s brake issues, in all probability.

A’s nearer Blake Treinen isn’t the one one on the injured listing this weekend. My beloved Camaro can be on the listing… properly, on a raise extra particularly, in my dad’s store. Ten to 14 days with brake points till the brand new components are available.

I do know, I do know. That is troublesome for us all. However we’re going to be OK.

To honor and rejoice my automobile listed below are some unhappy car-related songs, a style with a surprisingly broad selection.


The Seashore Boys — “Don’t Fear Child”

It’s fairly secure to imagine each Seashore Boys tune is both a few automobile or makes use of a automobile as a euphemism for one thing you couldn’t sing about within the early ’60s, and “Don’t Fear Child” is not any exception. The harm the singer is recovering from is automotive-related, after he runs his mouth and leads to a drag race for which he’s ill-equipped.

What, you suppose I’m kidding? Have you ever ever actually listened to the lyrics? “I assume I ought to’ve saved my mouth shut/ Once I began to brag about my automobile/ However I can’t again down now as a result of/ I pushed the opposite man’s too far” is fairly unambiguous.

Sadly I should not have a loving girlfriend to console me about my poor quickly disabled automobile, probably as a result of I want comfort over a quickly disabled automobile. I’m not denying the doable connection there.


Tracy Chapman — “Quick Automotive”

OK, so this 1988 honorable point out from the period when this column had a degree isn’t particularly about vehicles. There’s a automobile in it, in fact, and the phrase “automobile” seems within the title, however it’s a unhappy tune concerning the grass not at all times being greener on the opposite aspect. Within the case of the tune’s narrator town isn’t higher than her small city, simply unhealthy otherwise. The concept, although, may apply to plenty of issues.

I refuse to take a lesson from it on this case, although. Nothing in opposition to my loaner automobile; I’m glad I’ve it so I can go locations and do issues, however the grass is completely greener with an overpowered gas-guzzler that may do a simple 150 and doubtless contact 200 if I used to be being chased. … Hypothetically.


J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers — “Final Kiss”

Within the ’50s and early ’60s there was a whole style of songs about youngsters dying in automobile accidents. It was an entire factor. Mark Dinning’s “Teen Angel,” The Shangri-Las’ “Chief of the Pack,” Jan and Dean’s “Useless Man’s Curve;” it was a recurring theme. I don’t know why. Possibly vehicular demise was a brand new and thrilling factor again then? Possibly it grew to become extra frequent? Somebody ought to fee a examine.

Anyway, my private favourite is “Final Kiss” by the Cavaliers, or slightly the Cavaliers’ cowl of one other band’s dead-teenager-in-a-car tune. It was lined once more a long time later by Pearl Jam however they didn’t do pretty much as good a job. [Gokhman note: It was plenty good]. In all probability as a result of within the interim they invented seat belts so it lacked the timeliness.

Don’t fear, thoughts you, my automobile wasn’t in an accident. God forbid. The brakes weren’t that unhealthy.


The Useless Milkmen — “Bitchin’ Camaro”

Okay, so this isn’t a tragic tune precisely. I imply there’s an AIDS joke, and a number of other deaths, and actually two thirds of it’s a tedious unending skit. That’s all unhappy by numerous definitions of the time period. However largely I simply miss doing doughnuts in your entrance garden in my bitchin’ Camaro. Which I feel makes me one of many individuals the tune is mocking however that’s by no means actually stopped me earlier than.


The Automobiles — “Unhappy Music”

Look, this one is just on right here as a result of it amuses me. I stated it is a listing of unhappy songs about vehicles, and The Automobiles did a tune referred to as “Unhappy Music,” so what was I speculated to do? Not put it on there? You anticipate me to all of the sudden cease being agonizingly literal? Good luck with that.

Now if you happen to’ll excuse me, I’ve to gentle votive candles to St. Frances of Rome and St. Elijah the Prophet, patron saints of vehicles and drivers. Although Elijah will get the glory as a result of he was taken to heaven in a flaming chariot, which is the kind of factor I’m making an attempt to keep away from by fixing the brakes. Although Frances can be the patron saint of widows, which implies music within the ’50s and early ’60s was actually excellent to her.

Observe editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column concepts to him at Twitter.com/BayAreaData.





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