Aâ€™s nearer Blake Treinen isnâ€™t the one one on the injured listing this weekend. My beloved Camaro can be on the listingâ€¦ properly, on a raise extra particularly, in my dadâ€™s store. Ten to 14 days with brake points till the brand new components are available.
I do know, I do know. That is troublesome for us all. However weâ€™re going to be OK.
To honor and rejoice my automobile listed below are some unhappy car-related songs, a style with a surprisingly broad selection.
The Seashore Boys â€” â€œDonâ€™t Fear Childâ€
Itâ€™s fairly secure to imagine each Seashore Boys tune is both a few automobile or makes use of a automobile as a euphemism for one thing you couldnâ€™t sing about within the early â€™60s, and â€œDonâ€™t Fear Childâ€ is not any exception. The harm the singer is recovering from is automotive-related, after he runs his mouth and leads to a drag race for which heâ€™s ill-equipped.
What, you suppose Iâ€™m kidding? Have you ever ever actually listened to the lyrics? â€œI assume I ought toâ€™ve saved my mouth shut/Â Once I began to brag about my automobile/Â However I canâ€™t again down now as a result of/Â I pushed the opposite manâ€™s too farâ€ is fairly unambiguous.
Sadly I should not have a loving girlfriend to console me about my poor quickly disabled automobile, probably as a result of I want comfort over a quickly disabled automobile. Iâ€™m not denying the doable connection there.
Tracy Chapman â€” â€œQuick Automotiveâ€
OK, so this 1988 honorable point out from the period when this column had a degree isnâ€™t particularly about vehicles. Thereâ€™s a automobile in it, in fact, and the phrase â€œautomobileâ€ seems within the title, however it’s a unhappy tune concerning the grass not at all times being greener on the opposite aspect. Within the case of the tuneâ€™s narrator town isnâ€™t higher than her small city, simply unhealthy otherwise. The concept, although, may apply to plenty of issues.
I refuse to take a lesson from it on this case, although. Nothing in opposition to my loaner automobile; Iâ€™m glad I’ve it so I can go locations and do issues, however the grass is completely greener with an overpowered gas-guzzler that may do a simple 150 and doubtless contact 200 if I used to be being chased. â€¦ Hypothetically.
J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers â€” â€œFinal Kissâ€
Within the â€™50s and early â€™60s there was a whole style of songs about youngsters dying in automobile accidents. It was an entire factor. Mark Dinningâ€™s â€œTeen Angel,â€ The Shangri-Lasâ€™ â€œChief of the Pack,â€ Jan and Deanâ€™s â€œUseless Manâ€™s Curve;â€ it was a recurring theme. I don’t know why. Possibly vehicular demise was a brand new and thrilling factor again then? Possibly it grew to become extra frequent? Somebody ought to fee a examine.
Anyway, my private favourite is â€œFinal Kissâ€ by the Cavaliers, or slightly the Cavaliersâ€™ cowl of one other bandâ€™s dead-teenager-in-a-car tune. It was lined once more a long time later by Pearl Jam however they didnâ€™t do pretty much as good a job. [Gokhman note: It was plenty good]. In all probability as a result of within the interim they invented seat belts so it lacked the timeliness.
Donâ€™t fear, thoughts you, my automobile wasnâ€™t in an accident. God forbid. The brakes werenâ€™t that unhealthy.
The Useless Milkmen â€” â€œBitchinâ€™ Camaroâ€
Okay, so this isnâ€™t a tragic tune precisely. I imply thereâ€™s an AIDS joke, and a number of other deaths, and actually two thirds of it’s a tedious unending skit. Thatâ€™s all unhappy by numerous definitions of the time period. However largely I simply miss doing doughnuts in your entrance garden in my bitchinâ€™ Camaro. Which I feel makes me one of many individuals the tune is mocking however thatâ€™s by no means actually stopped me earlier than.
The Automobiles â€” â€œUnhappy Musicâ€
Look, this one is just on right here as a result of it amuses me. I stated it is a listing of unhappy songs about vehicles, and The Automobiles did a tune referred to as â€œUnhappy Music,â€ so what was I speculated to do? Not put it on there? You anticipate me to all of the sudden cease being agonizingly literal? Good luck with that.
Now if you happen toâ€™ll excuse me, I’ve to gentle votive candles to St. Frances of Rome and St. Elijah the Prophet, patron saints of vehicles and drivers. Although Elijah will get the glory as a result of he was taken to heaven in a flaming chariot, which is the kind of factor Iâ€™m making an attempt to keep away from by fixing the brakes. Although Frances can be the patron saint of widows, which implies music within the â€™50s and early â€™60s was actually excellent to her.
Observe editor Daniel J. Willis and tweet column concepts to him atÂ Twitter.com/BayAreaData.