Tatler reveals Christmas status symbols that prove you’re posh


You’ve probably got enough on your plate in the run up to Christmas – from buying the right gifts for your kids, to stocking up on the best value mince pies.

But, just in case you were keen to also prove how you rank among high society, Tatler have revealed their ultimate guide to a posh festive period.

In an article titled ‘Festive one-upmanship: Christmas status symbols’, the society bible released a tongue-in-cheek list of all the things you need to secure your standing.

These include a 6ft Nordmann fir tree – just like the Queen – to be pride of place in your home.

The society bible insist that you must have a wreath by Pulbrook & Gould [Image: Pulbrook & Gould]

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“This strapping Scottish six footer is the choice to fill an expansive hallway or high ceilinged manor,” the article explains.

Just like your wouldn’t settle for an artificial tree, don’t let yourself down with a naff wreath on your front door either.

They insist it must be purchased from Mayfair boutique, Pulbrook & Gould.

The ‘Deluxe-size Sage Wreath’ is perfect – although leave the £2,450 number outside at your own risk.

A £104k Tiffany advent calendar is essential for maintaining your high-ranking [Image: Tiffany]

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Forget chocolate and bath bombs, a Tiffany advent calendar – costing £104,000 – is essential.

It includes 24 diamond-related gifts priced between £100 and £13,000, and can be purchased from Harrods.

When it comes to Christmas lunch, you must serve up a KellyBronze turkey.

They explain: “The ‘pampered prince of the turkey world’…live a life of leafy luxury eating additive-free grain, ahead of being served up on Christmas day”

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Vegetables should be from Guy Singh-Watson who is “Oxford educated” and the pioneer behind Riverford Organic.

The articles adds: “Smoked salmon must come from the Harrods food hall – and so should the caviar.”

Your decorations can’t be anything you’ve picked up down the high street.

“Hand-painted ornaments are the way to go. The super rich – and super well connected – are able to commission their friends,” they reveal.

Caviar must be bought from Harrods, according to the tongue-in-cheek article [Image: Harrods]

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“A David Hockney Christmas scene would be the Rolls Royce of Christmas decorations – of course in his most distinctive style (so as to make it all the more immediately obvious at a first glance).”

Finally, treat yourself to a ride on a deer – or reindeer – because “every Tom, Dick and Harry has a pony who is readily wrapped up in rouge blankets come Christmastime as rides are offered down the country lane.

“But why rope in a pony, when you could use a deer? One closer to the ultimate, a reindeer.

“Some of Britain’s largest estates are overrun with the animals, so why not put them to good use come Christmas – providing it is done in the safest possible way and it doesn’t pose a threat to the health or wellbeing of the animals.”

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