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The facility of vulnerability | Brené Brown



Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her …

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  1. Shame: the fear of disconnection; is there something about me that if other people know it or see it that I won't be worthy of connection.
    Shame: I'm not good (________) enough.
    Underpinned by excruciating vulnerabilty– in order for connection to happen we have to allow ourself to be seen, really seen.
    … a sense of worthiness, worthy of love and belonging… authenticity; courage to be imperfect; fully embraced vulnerability (necessary, made them beautiful)– say "I love you first", do something without gaurantees.

    Poor and inefficient ways we currently use to deal with vulnerability: We numb. We make the uncertain, certain. We perfect. We pretend.
    Another way: Let ourselves be seen, deeply, vulnerably; Love with our whole hearts despite there being no guarantee; Practice gratitude and joy; I am enough.

  2. It's interesting to note that this was uploaded in Jan 2011 and she mentions that we no longer have discourse (discussion) in Congress. That was 8-1/2 years ago and is still true today. It's more of a trend of human condition than of party politics.

  3. I once did something unspeakable, for which I can not forgive myself. It scarred my concience and I torment myself with self condamnation, to keep that scar from ever healing, because I fear forgetting the pain and my resolve to never make the same mistake again. Until I am confident to have anihilated the part of me, that was the root cause for what I did, I can't see myself as worthy of love. Thing is, I will never be able to do that, because it is a basic instinct, and I am actually way too comfortable with it throughout all other aspects of my life as to try and fight it. The best I can do is try to understand and accept that it is part of me, and make sure I'll never expose anyone to it, so I don't hurt them. So basically I caged myself and threw away the key.
    I do numb my emotions,both good and bad ones, because I just can't handle them spiking. I can't handle judgement and rejection as much as I can't handle hope and excitement. They derail me so much I can't think conciousely. So I settled for mediocrity, because there I am safe and therefor keep others safe from me.

  4. we're trying a grass root effort in spreading the world about the amazing sailing you tube channel called “Sailing La Vagabonde”…. Lets Help the Sailing La Vagabonde get over 1 Million subscribers…they are so close. Elana & Reilly are amazing partners & have been sailing around the world for the past 5 years.

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